The Journey

Channelled messages about this journey called life. Mention of grief, healing and wisdom I’ve found along my journey.

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Without the journey, there is no destination. The journey is the path that leads us to our destination ie. our future. When we think about it the reason we end up where we are is because of the decisions and actions we take during the present moment ie. our journey. 

Whether we like it or not we control our life, our emotions, our perception, our beliefs, the actions we take, the decisions we make; we control our life. No one else does and there is beauty in that. The weight we feel is the responsibility of knowing we make the decisions and create a life we want for ourselves. I am not saying it’ll have no challenges, but following our hearts desires is something that leads us to the path of our most wholeness and highest. 

At times we don’t trust our hearts because of past experiences. Experiences that made us doubt the decisions we made when following our heart, although those same experiences taught us valuable lessons that assisted our emotional and mental maturity. Without those experiences, we won’t have the level of awareness and consciousness we have now. 

Our heart needs to have space to grief; grief the old life, versions and ways of living. Our heart is a vessel and portal to our wholeness and creating a life we were meant to live out; a life aligned to our authenticity. Grief looks different on everyone’s path. It’s about deciding what type of medicine works well for us individually and not pushing it on others; as one medicine might work well for us and for some, it’d do more harm than good. 

The journey of life is sacred because it doesn’t look the same for everyone. We all live out different and unique energy signatures and that’s how it’s suppose to be. We are not all meant to have the same seeds in our garden, we are all supposed to create one that is in alignment with us. We can only determine what is alignment because we are the biggest expert of ourselves.

Once we embody that concept we won’t constantly seek out validation from outside of ourselves and be swayed to being or doing what is not a reflection of who we are. 

To know who we are, we have to sit down with ourselves and get to know ourselves. Learn how our history (past experiences) impacted and influenced our moves in creating the version that we see in the mirror today. Healing is part of the journey and we don’t necessarily have to go through life-altering experiences to need to heal. It could be having to learn how to regulate our emotions as adults or letting go of insecurities about the relationship we have with our bodies and food. Those areas of our lives still impact our journey of following our hearts desires.

It’s important to hold space and give ourselves compassion and kindness while reminding ourselves that we move from the level of awareness and consciousness, we have at the time when making the decisions. It’s important to remember this because at times we can be our biggest bully and we can forget this concept very easily when the inner critic’s volume is cranked up. 

Hold grace for the times we just didn’t know and forgive ourselves for our past. It’s the part where we let go, not just for the other person (or the other side of the rope we’ve been clinging onto), but for ourselves too. Forgiveness frees us from the past and the emotions we have attached to it. Forgiveness comes in layers and it’s something we can’t force onto ourselves. It’s something we have to surrender to, meaning the emotions that are covering the ways to self-forgiveness is something we must go through. We can’t suppress them either or force ourselves to forgive when we’re not ready. 

Healing is all about providing the opposite experiences we are healing from. So when we are learning how to regulate our emotions, we can’t be suppressing them because to regulate them we have to become familiar with them. We do this by sitting with them, feeling them in our body and then naming them, so next time it comes up for us we know what is happening and how to act occurring.

Truth be told, I don’t think anyone knows what happens after this journey, we can theorise about it and create beliefs base on our theories although we’ll never really know until we meet ‘the end’ of the journey. 

So might as well live a life in alignment with our authenticity and know that we went after what we desire despite the fear, doubt and challenges we had. The journey is where it’s all at. It’s where we will always be. The destination is the destined future and the journey is the here and now. 

In this journey, the key is to let go of timing and the how’s of how life is supposed to play out. Learn to enjoy the process from X to Z and hold onto the lessons instead of the emotional reactions we experienced, because at the end of the day we can control our inner world more than we can control our external world. 

PS: Fear is always going to talk us out in not going after what we desire, although the key is to acknowledge the fear and move through it; take the actions we need to get us closer to our desires because we control and have power for our life. 

Like always, Be Kinder, Less Critical.

A List Of (my) Truths About Self-Love

The first few steps into loving our-self unconditionally are to admit our insecurities and where we lack love for our-self. This is where we have to begin. We have to be able to acknowledge the things that are no longer serving our highest good or our evolution.

At times we adapt beliefs, narratives, patterns, habits etc. base on survival mode. It doesn't necessarily mean it reflects who we are authentically. It's never easy having to face aspects of our-self that we've suppressed and rejected. It's uncomfortable sitting and unpacking our insecurities and our lack mentality. These are the challenges we face when we step into learning to love our-self unconditionally and just like any other challenges, we can overcome these.

The List-

IT'S A JOURNEY:

Loving our-self is not about the destination nor does it have to have a deadline or some sort of 'ending' to it. - In the context of healing and inner work, there is a need to remove timing and expectation on needing to be 'fully healed'. These types of expectations are the beginning to create the recipe for disappointment and unnecessary pressure. It's never about the destination anyway. The journey is located in the present moment and that's the moment that truly matters. That’s the only moment we are genuinely in.

OUR LIGHTS AND TOOLS:

The best ways to cultivate unconditional love is to be compassionate, loving, empathetic, nurturing, kind and forgiving towards our-self. - There will never be an amount of shame, judgement, hatred or rejection that will yield unconditional love. Those aspects are not needed when we are healing and reclaiming our power back. We must bring in the opposite experience we had to our reality to heal. Being loving, empathetic and kind towards our-self is a habit that becomes effortless the more we practise it.

(Side note: If you are having trouble providing these needs at this moment, begin with liking yourself and just hating yourself a little less each day. Begin spotting or listing all the things that went right instead of what went wrong. Practise listing gratitude each day and counting your blessings. - Train yourself to spot at least one blessing in your experiences or what you are grateful for.)

THE INFRASTRUCTURE:

Reconstructing our foundation and belief system doesn't happen overnight. - This process of reconstructing our inner world takes time and with timing, we do not control it. By focusing our energy on the things we do control such as our effort, work and patience we stand in our power and not give it to things that are not in our control. This is also a great way to remember that it's okay if we fall back to our old habits or behavioural patterns. Just because we fall back to old ways doesn't mean our progress has been thrown out the window. Breaking out of behavioural and thinking patterns takes time and cannot be done overnight. Practice patience not just towards the things we don’t control, towards our-self too.

GRIEF:

It's okay to let parts of personality and identity go as we learn to love our-self unconditionally. - Our identity is not set in stone. We can change them whenever we like. As we learn to view our-self from a place of love, we will begin to change aspects of our beliefs, narratives, patterns and conditioning. This will require us to let go of aspects of our-self that is founded in a lack mentality. This is where grief comes in.

Grief looks different on everyone and with grief, it has other emotions compiled on top or by its side. There is no wrong or right way to grief. Not everyone will resonate with how we grieve and vice versa. It's important to remind our-self that grieving is a part of healing. As we let go of the old and outdated perspective we must let go of versions of our-self that resonate with it.

THE BODY, KNOWS:

Our emotions are stored in our body too and not just the mind. - When we are letting go or healing our inner wounds there is a need to feel and sit with what's coming up for us. We have to be able to feel it in our body or at least welcome it in. This can come through as psychical sensation in an area of our body or as tears. Processing our emotion also doesn't have a deadline or timer set on them.

There are just times our emotions take time to process and be able to let go of the energy attached to them. Please welcome in compassion and empathy. Each time we process it, we gain a new level of perspective. Where we begin to view it through the lens of optimism.

A handy technique I recently learned was the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). It’s where we tap parts of our body as we say the negative emotion we are feeling in a form of a mantra. We say the negative mantra as we tap because it’s a way to welcome it into our body and feel it. Here is a reel of Kate an EFT practitioner explaining the benefits of using this technique. - Instagram Reel

Life will always have its hurdles to overcome, that's how life was constructed. Life also has polarities; we also experience wins and successes. Loving our-self is not all rainbows and sunshine. Having to remind our-self that self-love is not supposed to be perfect. It's supposed to be accepting our-self as we are.

We are not supposed to be perfect.

We are allowed to make mistakes, fuck up and learn from them. As that's all we can go if we've made a mistake. As long as we’re learning and continue to take the lessons instead of the expectations.

Don't feel as we have to be at a certain 'stage' or cycle in our journey. Trust your own timing, journey, evolution, growth and self. All this inner work simultaneously goes hand in hand. They are the puzzle pieces and each and one of them is as important as the next; as it requires to create the whole image.

Be Kinder, Less Critical.

Letting Go Of OLD Paradigm

Taken by Merichel Sanchez

Experiencing traumatic circumstances during our childhood creates a ‘dint’ within our mental, emotional and spiritual development. It can sometimes cause as to mature much quicker than other children or take on responsibilities that are not ours to carry. There are many different scenarios of what childhood trauma does to a person.

It will not look the same for everyone, which is normal. One of the best ways to heal and understand trauma for our selves is by educating our self on what happens with it. Understanding that trauma does not just stay in our mind, it also stores in our body. As the mind and the brain are connected through the nervous system.

-- The thing is with our mind, as soon as we process new information, the other information in our consciousness will make its way to our subconscious, eventually until we ‘forget’ about it. This is a way for new current information to be processed, learnt and adapted into our mind.
We might not even be aware that we are holding onto a belief, memory, emotion or conditioning that is rooted in our traumatic experiences. It does this thing where if we ignore it in one area of our life, it will manifest and shapeshift itself into other areas; until we can no longer ignore it.

Trauma healing is hard, daunting, uncomfortable and scary. I’m not going to sit here and create this illusion that it’s easy and glamorous or just love and light type of inner work. I can’t tell you how much times I’ve finished a box of tissue within all my therapy sessions. It’s this inside joke I’ve had with all my therapies because during the first couple sessions, I use to finish like 2 boxes of them in one session and toward the end, I’d only go through 5 sheets of tissue papers. This joke is so funny to me and it shows the process of what therapy does.

I use to cry when the question ‘who is Merichel?’ would pop up. This question was so daunting to me because I didn’t know who I was. The things that came to mind was the habits I participated in which was drugs, partying, sex and being mentally ill. I was the one that people would go to for advice and vent too, the ‘counsellor’ of the group. Those were the characteristics I believed made up of my identity.

The deeper I unpacked my traumas I realised that those roles and identities were trauma responses and the desire to escape reality through substance abuse, sex and partying had deeper roots and reasoning behind it; which was trauma. Same with mental illness, since I was a teen I’ve always dealt with mental illness and the idea of it not being embed with my identity was confronting. It's like who am I if I'm not that sad, depressed, anxious girl?

At the time the thought of unpacking my identity and the root cause of the behaviours I indulged in was scary. It was stepping into the unknown. It's the first awareness I had of the unknown. I didn’t know who I was outside of my trauma, my pain, illness and trauma responses, I had zero clues.

If I had the 2019 version of myself in front of me, I would embrace her and that's it. No word just embrace and acceptance for where I was at during that moment. Expressing enough gratitude and love I have for all the versions of myself that held pain and trauma; for believing that it was the way of living until something tragic would happen to me. A belief I didn't know I was holding on to at the time.

Facing my trauma and pain was the key to my self-awareness. No drugs, no ritual, no magic just simply facing and feeling my pain awaken my soul.

I began to stop listening to others and retreated to myself. Back to who I am naturally and who I am supposed to be. I went into solitude. I cut off communication with a lot of people that was rooted in trauma bonding and the ones that were one-sided and tended to myself and my own needs.

We get to a point in life that all the identities, roles, bandaids and short term fixes we use and chuck on, are no longer working. It losses its effect and then we are called to either find a harder fix or we go and see what we are running away from.

This is where many people spit up, some go within and some people look for something harder. This doesn’t make them a bad or toxic person, it’s just an example of what pain truly does to a person.

How pain can change someone to someone we can barely recognise today. -

It’s not selfish to tend to our wounds and fill our own cup, especially if we have been always been the ‘healer’ or ‘counsellor’ of the group. Sometimes the best thing we can do for all parties involved is to retreat and tend to our own needs. And those who are our true friends will understand this, they will not take it personally as they hold the same value and concept. For those who take offends to us catering to our own needs, they are not the people we are supposed to build long turn legacy or infrastructure with.

When we experience trauma (especially at a young age) our brain is wired to be in survival mode and constantly looking out for danger. This also means that we have created traits and characteristics base on survival, rather than authenticity. These responses and identities are what we go out into the world creating relationships and attachments with. When we embark on trauma healing, there is a need to let go of those identities we believed made us who we are.

As we free our self from embedding our trauma responses and pain within our identity the attachment we have created based on those versions of ourselves will no longer resonate when we begin to live out authenticity.

Sometimes people coming into our lives to teach as the lesson of who we are and who we are never going to be again and other times they reflect a fragment of our self that need acknowledging and healing. For that, we gratefully thank them for being a part of our journey and showing us the lesson we needed to ascend.

Most of the time we are called to take the lessons with us and have to learn to let the person go. Welcome, grieve in with open arms as we let go of the past versions of ourselves with kindness and compassion that resonated with them. Giving them thanks for having to assist us in overcoming challenges we thought we couldn't at the time. Letting them go with grace and forgiveness for teaching us the valuable lesson that ascending our soul and awareness.

Trauma is never something we asked for nor are we to blame. We do have a choice though, to either heal and grow from it or let it decay us and make us turn into a person we no longer recognise. -

Our past will never define and predict where we are going in the future or what we can accomplish. It doesn't define us nor is it a reflection of who we truly are. Healing is a journey, not a destination, having to let go of the idea that we can't reach content and peace in the present moment is an illusion. We can be at peace and content with our past and heal from it.

We can embark on a new beginning while healing, we don't need to 'fully healed' to be in a new cycle or embark on a beginning/journey. Let go of guilt for having the desire to move from a place of authenticity and higher vibrations. Don't feel bad for having outgrown people or certain versions of our self, instead embrace the change that is we are being lead to.

Enjoy this paradigm shift and transformation that is occurring internally and in our external world. Trust our own process and begin with loving and nurturing our self in the smallest way each day; as those efforts build up to something bigger.

Be Kinder, Less Critical

Out With The Limiting Habits & In With The Expansion Of Our Self

The truth about looking within is, it’s not easy; it’s challenging, hard and uncomfortable. When we begin, to have the desire to want to know the deeper meaning to life, our purpose and why the hell we are here? We begin on the path of self-awareness. To answer these questions, we have to look within. We have to observe and reflect what we have going on within and who we are. 

In the early stages, we will come to see that we have wounds, hurt and pain we have yet to acknowledge; those aspects that live within us that affect our day to day lives. In this stage, we are not sure why we hold certain things that have happened to us so closely when they’ve caused us pain. Questioning our self is a step to self-awareness and having to unpack the reasons why we engage with certain behaviours, habits or patterns is stepping towards that direction. 

Although there’s a polarity to this process, it’s when we question our self to the point we doubt our self. Whether it’s our worth, the experiences we had, our emotions and overall knowledge. Those moments when we doubt our self is from a self-limiting belief. Where we might hold a belief that we are not smart enough, worthy enough and just not enough. 

Those beliefs we hold have been embed within us, meaning that they are unconscious. Just like how we walk, talk or eat, those habits are something we do not need to think about, rather they just happen with no effort put into it. That’s similar to how our belief systems work within us. There are times we follow a pattern, belief and narrative about our self without being consciously aware of it at all. 

This is something we realise when we look within, as we question our self we will have things revealed and come to the surface on the blueprint we have created about our self. This isn’t to say that it’s a bad thing it doesn’t re-surface, we just have to follow our own process.

The belief system we have built-in with our blueprint has become a habit for us, that thinking pattern or that narrative we tell our self has been an automatic response. Breaking out of habits that are no longer useful or assisting us, is not always the habits we do in the worldly plane, sometimes they occur within our mind. 

Below I have listed strategies and tools of how to break out of a thinking pattern, belief, or narratives and the inner critic within us. Also how and why our brain focuses on the negative rather than the joyful events. 

These strategies and tools are something nobody can do for us, its something we have to do for our self. The thing with inner work is nobody in the world can do the work for us as we are the biggest excerpt of our self. 

How Our Brain Are Wired:

Our brain priorities survival over happiness or joy and that is why it’s important to choose gratitude and optimism, over the negative things occurring within our life. Our brain does this because it’s a way to keep us safe. It’s build to remember and focus on all the negative things because it then creates a pattern, where if we were faced with those similar experiences that we have categories as negative or bad, it will keep us from going forwards to those experiences.

Example: If we go through a bad breakup and get our heartbroken, we’ll categories that falling in love or getting into a committed relationship is dangerous because of what happened last time. Which then gets us to avoid that type of deeper intimacy/commitment.

Our brain creates neural pathways that strengthen over time depending on how frequency we use that pathway. Example, with thinking patterns, when we are frequency stressed over the little things, that neural pathway will be stronger compared to a pathway that is about letting go. Over time the less we use that pathway that requires us to let go, the function of it declines/gets weaker.

 Example: Our biceps, if we were to just do leg workout and neglect our arms, then obviously the leg muscles will be bigger than our arms. - That’s similar to the neural pathways we’ve created. The more we use them the stronger they are.

So if we are constantly in the state of negative thinking patterns, obviously that part of our brain will be overstimulated and more connected to our nervous styles. Which get us to be more prone to anxiety, stress, depression and lower states of frequency.

One profound thing about our brain is that it can reconnect and create new neural pathways during adulthood, which called neuroplasticity. This term pretty much means that when we create new experiences that have higher vibrational frequencies attached to them such as optimism, joy, happiness, contentment etc. we create new neural pathways. Although we have to continuously create and participate in experiences that give us those high vibrations so that, the neural pathway will get strong and (example) the one with the negative thinking pattern will decline. This is a way of rewiring our brain away from anxiety, depression and lack of self-love.

Insight: It’s important to know that our thinking patterns are done out of habit. We have to be more aware of them so we can interrupt and question them. As we question them we are creating a new experience, which gets us to break out of these patterns. By replacing them with compassionate, self-accepting mantras we are re-wiring our brain to operate from that place.

Breaking Out Of Negative Thinking Patterns:

Unpacking A Thinking Pattern:

• Pick a thinking pattern that is not helping your ascension/expansion of consciousness/self-worth. This can be a belief or narrative you follow and re-plays in your head.
  (Example; black and white thinking - “She looks so good in that dress. I’m so ugly and can’t ever look that way.” Or “They pick it up so easily and I can’t, I’m such a failure.")

• Unpack and dismantle your focused thinking pattern by questioning it:
  - What evidence do I have for this thought to be true?
  - What evidence do I have that it isn’t?
  - Is this accurate?
  - Is it mirroring my reality?
  - Has there been a time where I’ve had this thought and it didn’t come true?
  - Is that belief realistic or an illusion?
  - What would I tell someone who is having these thoughts?
  - What emotions am I feeling when these types of thoughts come up? Am I sad, angry, or anxious or the other spectrum, happy, content, or joyful?

Strategy/Tool:

JOURNALLING-
Begin journal if you haven’t already. Use the questions in the section above to go deeper within you. – One thing I love about journaling is, I can see it clearly and in the 3D, rather than just in my mind; where it can get tangled up. And also journaling is like a way of record keeping. In 6-month time, you can look back at your journal and see for the self the improvement you have achieved internally.

GRATITUDE-
Practice daily gratitude, towards the things that are working and the things we genuinely grateful for. This can be as simple as having all our body parts working and not needing assistance to move around, having a roof over our heads or having a variety of options of food. 

Begin embedding gratitude to your day to day life. 

• When you wake up and before going to bed list 5 things you are grateful for.

• When you’re feeling low mood, shift your energy towards the gratitude by listing things; in your head, out loud or journaling. 

MANTRA/AFFIRMATION- 
Mantra and affirmations can be used when interrupting our thinking pattern at the moment if we don’t have the time to unpack it right there and then.

ACTIVITY:
Creating Your Own Mantra; create a mantra that you can use for the specific thinking pattern/belief/narrative that you’re breaking out of. OR look one up.

F.E.C.K (Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion and Kindness) - 
This acronym is also a great way to interrupt our thinking pattern and create a new internal dialogue within us. It doesn’t have to be in this sequence, the main key is to give these to our self. Having to be compassionate and kind to our self is not as easy as it sounds for many, although its those baby steps we have to take towards that direction. 

Having to be kind for the day we are not feeling our self or having a low level of mood, or being compassionate for the times we don’t have energy or materials to give out to those around us. It’s having to understand that we are human and we make mistakes and we’re not perfect.

The key is giving our self a huge F.E.C.K - Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion and Kindness.  

We should also learn to let go and remove the expectation to have attached to our self to be a certain way to receive acceptance, love or recognition. Those expectations create pressure that necessarily do not need to be there and it also causing more harm to our health. 

This concept also goes with letting go of expectations we have attached to people. We have to let go of ALL the things we can not control and that includes people. There is no moment in time we ever had control over people, it’s a form of an illusion. To control people we have to manipulate them and that will always cause more harm and suffering that any good; not just towards the person being manipulated but the manipulator.

A huge part of any inner work is learning what and when you do not have control over something and then be able to let go and shift your focus onto something you can control.  – This again is a habit that takes time to learn and embedded within our way of thinking.

More Insight: Thinking patterns are habits that we have gotten used to overtime. They can be unconscious most of the time and we aren’t even aware of them because they are so embedded within us.

It’s important to grasp that any habit takes time to break out of. It takes work, effort, patience and time. Those three-aspects work, effort and patience are something we can control, and although with time we never did. We don’t receive a stamp date of when a habit will be no longer present. There is just a time that comes where we react differently to a situation, that we would have acted out from that particular thinking pattern although, with the work, effort and patience we have cultivated, it comes effortlessly to react differently.

This requires us to create new experiences not just externally but internally too. As our thinking patterns are within us.

Be patience with our self and don’t compare our process and life in general with others. 

Comparison is a bitch and will create an illusion that will block us from seeing the greatness that lives within you. Trust YOUR OWN process as learning to love your self is not an overnight thing. It’s a process that we are constantly on and will never end; because loving our self meaning we are continuously learning and expanding our self-awareness.

Before we can see our worth and love within us, we have to remove those limiting and lack beliefs, patterns and narratives that are blocking us from seeing the true beauty, power and worthiness that we have within us. That we have always been enough and worthy no matter what versions of our self didn’t believe so.

Be Kinder, Less Critical

NEUROPLASTICITY by: Merichel S.
(Blue = Depression || Purple = Anxiety || Orange/Yellow = Joy/Optimistic)

Learning to Trust Ourself

‘Mending the heart’

Trust is an important part of any type of relationship. Without trust, it’s a weak and unstable foundation. Not only do we have to trust others, but we also have to trust ourselves. Having a weak and unstable foundation of trust within ourselves create a refection of those same foundations to our external world. Where we will abandon ourselves to be accepted, validated or loved. We get to a point in life where those facades, masks and persona’s we’ve created to receive a need will not cut it. Meaning that the feeling of emptiness and loneliness we were trying to run away from begins to creep back in or having to experience the worst type of loneliness; feeling alone in a room full of your loved ones.

Having abandoned ourselves for many years, it takes time to learn to trust ourselves. With learning, there are process and cycles we go through. Life isn’t straight forward and we get thrown lemons along this journey. Which can be perceived as a ‘bad thing’ although when we change our perception and see those ‘bad things’ are an opportunity to grow, evolve and a cycle to overcome the challenges that will better equip us to the next cycle of our life. Life has always had lemons, challenges or hurdles (whatever label resonates with you) the best way to equip ourselves is by learning to trust ourselves and the process we are on. The deeper we know and trust ourselves the less fear can talk us out or into things that are not in alignment with our path and soul. Embrace every moment we have, as we know that nothing is ever permanent and that everything and everyone is temporary. - Same goes with our current situations. 

TOOLS OF TRUSTING ourselves

• Accountability

• Compassion

• Validation

• Honesty

• Empathy

• Self Care

• Intuition

• Acceptance
  

When we begin to learn to trust ourselves it’s about holding ourselves accountable for the promises we made with ourselves. It could be as small as going to bed at a certain time or doing an activity to help us get started for tomorrow. Whatever it might be when we make a promise to ourselves and not follow through with it we are teaching ourselves that we can not be trusted. This is a process that comes hand in hand with actions. We need to match the words and promises we make with actions that mirror those. 

When we don’t match the action, it's not an opportunity to bully ourselves or talk down on ourselves. When we don’t follow through it just means there is learning to do with trusting ourselves it's not about failing or not being good enough. Learning to trust ourselves after years of self-betrayal is a process. It's a habit we have to get used to. 

Habits take time to learn and get used to grounding them in our day to day lives. It’s not about pushing ourselves to the point of burnout or shaming. It’s about understanding that the concept that habits take time, practise, effort and patience to mastering. Don’t diminish or brush off the efforts we have put on ourselves because we might not see the results, just yet. Like those efforts, build up to the point that hopping back on the saddle of a habit is going to be much easier to how it used to be. That is why time and patience are needed. Acknowledging this concept so we can let go of timing and surrendering to the fact we can only control our own actions and our entire being. 

Trusting ourselves comes with keeping the promises we've made to ourselves. Where we have overcome a certain obstacle and being able to maintain that promise we've made, long after overcoming it. When we make a conscious decision with the knowledge that isn't in alignment or going to do any good, it is self-betrayal. That is when we abandon a part of ourselves to feel a certain way or go back to a certain habit. When we do this it is showing ourselves that we can not be trusted. A part of learning to trust ourselves is being able to say no and stick to our words. It’s backing up those words with the way we move and take action in our lives. Sometimes words are not enough to prove ourself that we are trusted. 

Trust comes on many levels and it's a spectrum. Different levels come with trusting ourselves and others too. It's not a one way round. In the context of trusting others, it has to be a give and take. With trust comes loyalty and transparency. When we move from a place of dishonesty and a lack of loyalty it is a reflection of how we treat ourselves in those aspects. That is why learning to trust ourselves and being honest is important. How can we trust and be honest with others when we are lying to ourselves? With learning to trust ourselves comes with validating as well. When we take actions to build trust with ourselves, we have to also learn to validate ourselves. The funny thing is that many of us usually go to others to validate something we already want to do or know. Although, there are times if others do not agree with our inner knowing we tend to abandon it. - Unlearning this conditioning that we need others to validate our intuition and inner knowing, is important. It’s not about abandoning people closes to us, it’s about not letting others sway us in making decisions when our intuition tells us otherwise. 

Learning to trust ourselves comes hand in hand with healing, self-love and care. 

In the past, we have experienced betrayal and disappointment because we might have not listened to our intuitions or we are not sure what our intuition feels like. When this is the case it’s required to do Inner Child healing. As children, they have amazing intuition and are very in tune with theirs. If there are people around them who gaslight them or constantly project a lack of self-love for a long period of time (especially during childhood) those types of programming is what they will go out into the world. Where they were taught to abandon their intuition because they were being ‘too sensitive’, ‘crazy’ or made to believe that they were worthless. As they age and time progresses these programming will be so deep within their subconscious that they believe that is who they are. Which is far from reality. 

A part of trusting ourselves is being able to heal and reconstruct our own programming. With healing, it gets us to unpack those programmings and find the deep-rooted cause of them. Healing isn’t bypassing the cause by ‘forgiving and forgetting. Healing is acknowledging, embrace and tending to whatever we come across during the process of unpacking, for good or for bad. It’s being able to learn to accept the past although there is a process to acceptance. We have to feel it before we can accept it. When feeling the knowledge we have come across there are going to be epiphanies and realisation. Which then gives us the ‘missing puzzle’ or a push to head towards acceptance. 

Everyone's has gone through a certain circumstance that has cause heaviness that they still carry to this day. Whether they are consciously or unconsciously aware of them, it does not change the fact we still carry them. When we embark on healing and learning to trust ourselves, we get to see this concept. 

A reminder that everyone goes through similar experiences that will not hold the same outcome as someone else's. It might have the same outline of that experience, although it is never the same. With this concept, we have to come to terms that we can’t compare ourselves with others past, present or future. With this concept, we can stop comparing our lives, healing and learning journey with others. 

Each heaviness has different ways of healing. That is why nobody should compare their healing or experiences with others. - It is not a competition. It's never been a competition. Life, healing and our experiences are not something we receive gold metals on. There are no rankings at the end of our lives. It's just us and all fragments of ourselves. That is why we have to accept ourselves as a WHOLE. 

The truth is that; the only person we can never get rid of is ourselves. We can disconnect from ourselves. We were given a free will to chose, although disconnecting and escaping from ourselves only leads to fulfillments that do not last long. Fulfilments that are surface-level leaving our soul and Higher Self deprive and hungry.

Learning to trust ourselves comes with regaining the trust of our intuition and inner knowing. This is where healing comes in. There were moments in time where we did trust ourselves and intuition although due to outside circumstances that were not in our control. It got us in sticky situations and ‘hard times’. - As wild as this might sound, our Higher Self communicates through our intuition which gets us to move a certain way. Putting us through a circumstance that gets us to learn a valuable lesson. We then gain a new level of perspective and see that we go through certain experiences and circumstances to obtain a higher level of consciousness. Which comes with maturing emotionally and mentally. - Without those experiences and circumstances, we wouldn’t of gain those new perspectives. Sometimes we have to go through certain things so our mindset can be stretch to a point that we didn’t know was possible. When we go through certain things like this, giving ourselves compassion, understanding, kindness and empathy. - A reminder that we move from of a place of the knowledge and level of consciousness we are at those moments. 

Letting go of our intuition is when we abandoned our Higher Self. Our intuition is our Higher Self and that is how that part of ourselves communicates to us. The part of us knows things without having an explanation and it’s that feeling no one can explain although, just know it. That is our intuition; our Higher Self. This is a part of our being. Learning to trust ourselves is coming into union with our Higher Self. It’s learning to trust our inner knowing and intuition. It’s having to step out of the norms and creating our own path. Trusting that it will work out. That sometimes we just aren't meant to know where our present actions will lead us. Just hold on to the knowledge that we are learning and letting our Higher Self live out. 

Life is messy, we are messy and accepting that being human is messy. That nothing is perfect and that there is always an opportunity to grow, learn, evolve and change. It's just having to spot them and grab them for ourselves. And choosing to embark on toward those opportunities.  

BE KINDER, LESS CRITICAL

Inner Child Healing

Topics: Shadow Aspects, Reparenting, Feeling Multiple Emotions at Once, Blueprints and Programming and the Past. 

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 We can’t deny that we don’t have an Inner Child within us. We all have that part within us, it might just be repressed underneath all the experiences we went through as a child. That doesn’t mean it’s not there, it’s just buried under all the unhealed, unclaimed, neglected, abandoned parts of us that we haven’t faced.

The early stages of our life are our childhood. The first relationships we form are with our parents and family dynamics. Those are the baseline of our foundations not just in regards to relationships but also the way we view ourself, the world and how we move in life. In our early stages of experiencing life, we are dependant and relay on our parents for our livelihood. Nobody in the world had a choose of who our family are and the conditioning that was already set prior to our existence. There is never a ‘perfect’ childhood as nobody is perfect. Parents make mistakes as the majority of the time they are going along the learning process of raising a child. Which is fine and normal. It’s okay to make mistakes and trip up. As children, we didn’t get much choice, although as adults the beauty of it is we have more choices on how we should move forward in our reality. 

Some of us might have not had the best childhood and upbringing. We might have experienced the worst and shown how evil the world is at those early stages of our life. Those experiences that might still haunt as till this day. No child in the world had control over the parents or the family they were put in. It’s something no kid chooses and have NO CONTROL OVER. Same goes with the circumstance we experienced growing up, we had no control over those either. We were not ‘little adults’, we were children. We had barely experienced in the world. We didn’t know the full scope of the world we lived in. We were new and were only in the early stages of life.

In the early stages of life that is where we create and form our foundations, blueprints and programming to use in our adulthood. Which is a larger portion of our life, our childhood and adolescence are just a small part of it. Although just because it’s a small part does not mean it doesn’t hold its value. During our childhood like I’ve stated, those years are the creation of the foundation, blueprints and programming. Where in our adolescence years are the time we put those foundations into working. Where we begin to form relationships and a sense of who we are outside of our family dynamics. For the majority of people during those times, we are unconscious of the blueprints and programming we are following. As our adolescence years where we were finding our own bearings and trying out who we were. Our adolescence years are only makeup 7 years of our life. Those stages feel as they would last forever although they don’t. 

In the context of healing, we have to acknowledge those parts of ourself. That we didn’t experience the best case during the early stages of life. Which wasn’t our fault nor are we to blame. The circumstances either from our childhood or adolescence years created an impact of how we moved throughout our adulthood. Whatever the circumstances we have experienced that has caused us pain, hurt or trauma it deserves acknowledging. It doesn’t matter what those ingredients are, as everyone in the world deserves to have their pain, hurt and trauma acknowledge and tenderly cared for.  

As young children we didn’t have a choice nor can we do much about our past. It’s not about staying there. It’s about learning and creating a different perspective. We have a choice to take in all the negative and bad things we got out of our experiences OR we can reclaim the fragments that we had to abandoned or that were taken from us. Either way, we do have free will for a reason. We get to choose either to stay or evolve. 

 Having to come to term with the reality of our childhood will bring in grief. We will grieve and mourn the parts of ourself that never had the chance to live. The parts and experiences our Inner Child didn’t experience nor did they had the chance to. - Life can be unfair at times and it sucks, I’m not going to tell anyone who is reading this otherwise. Because it does, it’s heartbreaking and disappointing that we didn’t receive the love, nurturing, care or tending to as a child. That’s why grief and mourning is an important part of healing and reclaiming these fragment of ourself.

When we begin to heal and rip off the rose coloured lenses we’ve cast on our upbringing. We will feel all sort of emotions. Which is normal. Naming and identity what emotions we are feeling is an IMPORTANT process. When we identify, label and put a name on a certain heaviness we are feeling it makes it lighter. It gives that emotion an identification. It’s important to give our emotions identities and naming them. Because when we do this, next time it comes to resurface we are able to recognise it. We won’t feel confused or distress about why we feel the way we do. Once identifying the emotion we can find where it stems from which will lead us to the root cause. 

 This process isn’t an overnight work to do, it’s a process that is done gradually and at each individuals pace. We can not rush healing or we can push our emotions out. Those two aspects have their own cycles. We can not force to have something resurface from our subconscious because we want it too. It doesn’t work like that.

Personally, for me, I send out an intention to having any unhelpful or toxic pattering, blueprints, programming or foundations I still unconsciously follow to come to the surface. And then letting it go, meaning letting go of how it’ll come to me. I’ve set out the intention and that’s all I can do. -  Our access to our subconscious is very limited and quite difficult to get into. It has its own way of processing and dealing with information. It doesn’t operate the way our consciousness does. Most of the time when something comes to surface from our subconscious it comes in the form of triggers. As triggers are just alarm clocks from the emotions within our subconscious. It’s a sign that we need to address and reclaim something from within. 

When reclaiming our Inner Child, there is a need to re-parent ourself. We need these aspects of compassion, kindness, empathy and nurturing towards ourself first before we can give it to our parents and others. How are we supposed to provide an emotionally safe space for others when we are not able to do that for ourself? When we neglect to give ourself the emotional needs we require, we will feel some sort of resentment towards anyone who is asking to provide that space for them from us. It’s about pouring and tending to our own cup before trying to fill everyone else’s. 

An example of an Inner Child wound: When our Inner Child is abandoned, it creates a Shadow aspect from our wounds. Where will abandon and neglect parts of our own self to be accepted and loved by others. It’s this constant seeking of approval and acceptance from others because that’s is what we needed as a child. So then we create relationship dynamics that will mirror that lack so we can become aware of the patterning. Which will provoke a choice of changing and transmuting the patterning. Another example is the tendency to people please which stems from codependency. Where we have created narratives and beliefs that we have to attach a condition or a hidden agenda to be loved, accepted or valued in society or our relationships. These are just a couple of examples, everyone will have different types of wounds and how they impacted their own lives. Different types of wounds also create Shadow aspects within us. Each individual has different and similar upbringing although it’s never the same. Where it’s not identical by all the details or the way an individual perceives it. - From wounds ties in with types of pattering that we use to operate in our day today. These types of patterning are partly conscious and the unconscious part of it is the root cause of behaviours, actions, and habits. 

It’s hard to be aware of our own blueprints and programming when we lack knowledge of how our mind works. Our mind is like a computer system where we have to put in programs and blueprints for it to work. So it can operate smoothly and each programming as its purpose on why it’s in the system. It is similar to our brain it has to have programming and blueprints to follow to be able to maneuver in life. We don’t just choose to do something because ‘it feels right’,  there is a subconscious programming we are following. Most of our programming and blueprints are subconscious; we operate a certain way although we are not sure where an action, behaviour or habit is rooted from. - Those blueprints and programming were created in our childhood. When we lack the knowledge of the KEY information of our nature and the way we operate. Which then we become unconscious of all these parts of ourself,

 That’s why when reparenting we have to give ourself the compassion, kindness and understanding so we can give it to your parents. - We can feel more than one emotions. We are multidimensional beings meaning we can feel as many emotions as long as we are not overwhelmed or causes distress. 

We can feel resentment and anger and also be grateful and appreciate towards our parents. As both of those emotions exist within us.

When are reclaiming we can not ignore one or another. It’s is about embracing ALL aspects of our self, for good or bad. Either way, they both bring healing which creates a different perspective and way of looking not just ourself but also others around us. Which also creates a restructuring on the infrastructures of our blueprints and programming. Which changes our relationship with ourself, others and how we move in life. 

Just be patient and be kind to ourself more. It’s not a race, nobody is up for gold metal or trophies. It’s about reclaiming ALL FRAGMENTS OF OURSELF from the mind, body and soul. Each and one of us are on our own journey and path. We are not supposed to compare ourself and our healing to others. It’s not supposed to be like that, we can’t reclaim our entire Divinity if we are looking over and comparing our fragments and journey to others. That creates gaps and illusions within our own path and journey. It’s important to ground in this concept and detach from a competitive mindset especially in regards to our healing and general life. 

We are not all supposed to be the same, we all came here to have different and unique experiences. If we were all the same, it would be bland and boring place to be in. Accepting all parts of ourself means the past and present while being open to the possibility of the future. Healing is simply embracing, acknowledging, tending and then reclaiming parts of ourself to fill the void we are experiencing.

Inner Child healing is an important process of our ascension and healing journey. When we embark on this journey we need to reclaim all fragments of ourself throughout our lives, from the beginning to the present. It’s a process and it’s not an overnight accomplishment. It’s about reclaiming OUR WHOLE ENTIRE DIVINITY, which will take time. The Inner Child healing is so empowering and liberating in the sense that we realise that we didn’t have control over our reality during those early stages. Although as adults when we do this type of healing we realise and reclaim the power of control within our reality. We realise that we can choose who we want to be now and that our past doesn’t define us. Nor as does it dictate where we are heading towards. - The past was simply stepping stones to gaining a level of perspective and maturity to embark on our chosen path. I’ve stated it before, Inner Child healing is not about living in the past it’s about claiming the parts we abandoned and detached from due to our circumstances. 

The past is the only set reality as it’s already happened, whereas the present moment is in between the unknown and certainty and the future is and will always be the unknown. Our past DOES NOT AND WILL NEVER DEFINE WHO ARE, WHO CAN BE AND WHAT WE CAN ACHIEVE IN THE FUTURE. 

BE KINDER, LESS CRITICAL